You can use the following patterns and characteristics as your guide to self-evaluation. Be careful to open up to the possibility that you may have traits that need your attention and transformation.
Denial Patterns: (Denial is a defense mechanism that most people use to defend themselves against what they do not have to accept about themselves.)
1. Do you have difficulty stating what you are feeling emotionally?
2. Do you minimize, change, deny, regress what you really feel?
3. Do you perceive yourself as completely unselfish and dedicated to helping others?
Self-Esteem Patterns (Low Self-Esteem)
1. Do you have trouble making decisions?
2. Do you believe what you say or do or think is never ‘good enough?’
3. Are you embarrassed to accept compliments, praise, or gifts?
4. Do you have trouble asking for your needs or desires?
5. Do you value other peoples’ opinions, judgments, feelings, and behaviors over your own?
6. Do you view yourself as a lovable and worthy person?
1. Do you let your values or standards slip to avoid rejection or other peoples’ anger?
2. Are you very sensitive to knowing or hearing what other people feel and you seem to feel, the same?
3. Are you extremely loyal to another even if that person’s behaviors are consistently hurting you?
4. Do you put high value on others opinions, and advice more than your own inner truth, while you often feel afraid or anxious to speak up with a different opinion?
5. Do you minimize or let go of your interests or hobbies in order to do what others or another wants to do?
6. Do you accept sex when you want someone to really love you?
1. Do you try to convince other people by giving them advice to do what they should do or think or feel?
2. Do you hold resentments toward others when they don’t listen to your advice or help?
3. Do you freely give advice and directions as to what to do without being asked?
4. Do you give great or lavish gifts and favors to those you care about?
5. Do you believe other people who you want to help, are not capable of taking proper care of themselves?
6. Do you use sex to gain approval, acceptance or perceived love?
7. Do have to feel needed in order to have a relationship with others in your life?
How many traits did you realize you have? Are you willing to begin to change these traits a little at a time? A book I recommend for further study is Co-Dependency No More by Melody Beatty. Plus this blog has many articles that will help your self-esteem.
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